Pain. Life. Grief. Joy. How do they co-exist? Can they be together? Even as friends?

These questions have become a bit front and center to me as I continue to navigate the turbulent seas of grief and pain after losing Hannah almost three years ago. To the point, most of us want desperately to avoid pain and therefore choose to find ways to mitigate, shoo away, drug down, run away from, etc, etc, any attempt by pain and grief to cut into us. Funny thing, though, THEY DON’T GIVE UP, relentless in their capacity to find us when we are at our most vulnerable, or, really, whenever they want.

To personalize, I have come to realize that they are two sides to the same coin. Pain/grief and life/joy, that is. It is difficult for me to find one side without the other. You might say they are part of the same currency, part of this experience on earth. By allowing myself to sit face to face and “absorb” within my heart, my being, the pain that tears into the soul, I have also experienced deepest joy, often times within the same breath.

I recognize that this is a deep subject and that I could write for hours on this, or discuss with a friend for the same, but I also sense the simplicity of it and will therefore leave my thoughts on this matter in short fashion. I must embrace my pain and my grief. I do not always do so, but find that when I do, more often than not they lead me to their polarities, life and joy. Please don’t quibble over semantics, fill in your own definitions if you so desire. But for me to progress on in this world I have found that being open to the deepest pains/griefs is essential for my journey. No, hell, no, it ain’t easy, and for goodness sakes I don’t for a second believe I have the answers to all of the questions, and probably never will. I am simply saying that I feel we are better off if we somehow become willing to face what we see as the worst as part of our journeys and rejoice in the beauties that follow.

In summary, I want to sit with my pains/griefs instead of running and allow them to do whatever they might, trusting that life can exist with them. Peace to all…