The Wall

Ain’t no way Frank was gonna pass up on the opportunity of a lifetime, a chance to spy on the criminal syndicate known simply as The Cartel. He had bragged to all of his friends, and oh God was there a bunch of ‘em, that he was gonna find a way to slip in when no one was lookin’ and find out what they was up to. He was so excited that no matter where he found hisself he would rub his hands together again and again, his eyes floatin’ every which way you can imagine, all devious lookin’, and salivatin’. Yeah, a bunch of salivatin’.

The truth is, Frank was a sucker for a dare, and all of his friends had said he was a pussy if he didn't do it, even tellin’ him that there would probably be a helluva bounty in there if only he would do it. These types of get-togethers tend to have a treasure or two that are hard to pass up, and that’re relatively easy to take without being noticed. He was all in like we said - salivatin’ - but he knew he needed to stay on his toes, try not to get noticed, keep his eyes open, which was the least of his concerns. He was good at that.

Well, them folks strutted in there, they did, and it didn’t seem like none of ‘em had a clue that Frank was lurkin’ about. He was well positioned. As far as he could tell they weren’t saying nothin’ important, at least not yet, but dang if they didn’t trot in a mess of bar-b-q ribs and place ‘em almost right up under Frank’s nose. Oh shit, he knew he was in trouble, ‘cause if there was one thing Frank couldn’t resist it was ribs. And he was hungry as hell, so the salivatin’ got ratcheted up a notch.

Frank didn’t know it, but Sally and Jeff was also in the room, scoutin’ it out, mainly to see if Frank could pull it off. They, too, was salivatin’ a little when they saw the ribs, but they was satiated from earlier, and besides, The Cartel looked like dangerous folk.

“Frank’s in trouble,” Sally whispered.

“Yeah,” Jeff snickered real quiet like. “I bet he ain’t even listenin’ any more to what they’re talkin’ about, forgettin’ his mission. If I ever met anyone who can’t resist ‘em no ribs, it’d be Frank.”

Sally nodded her head quietly. They looked at each other and smiled, still trying to keep an eye out on everything that was happenin’. They didn’t really like Frank so much, anyhow, so they couldn’t help but laugh a little.

The Cartel folk grabbed ‘em a few ribs and started munchin’, but left a bunch more ribs on the cart. Frank got excited. He knew he was takin’ a risk, but hell, life is short, for sho’, and like we said, he was all in.

Just when he was about to drop down and snatch him up some rib tastin’, he heard a splat! the one thing that always scared the shit out of Frank. Of course he was looking in the direction of the splat before he even heard it, so he witnessed The Cartel whack his buddies, Sally and Jeff, both of ‘em in one pop.

He saw his opportunity. With all attention diverted the other way, he feasted on some ribs for a minute or two, then slipped back outta there before anybody even noticed. All of their friends was waitin’ outside, anxious to hear the report.

“Tell us, Frank,” one of ‘em yelled. “What’d you learn? And where are Jeff and Sally?”

“Yeah,” said another. “Did you get any treasure?”

Frank sat there listenin’, almost drooling all over hisself, rubbin’ his hands together like it was the latest thing. He looked at all of his friends at the same time, and there was probably about fifty or so.

He had created quite a buzz.

“Jeff and Sally got whacked,” Frank began. “That’s when I dropped down from my spot on the wall and feasted on…get this…bar-b-q ribs!”

None of ‘em really liked Jeff and Sally that much, anyway. Besides, both of ‘em was twenty-somethin’ days old, so their hours was numbered, anyhow. They was more interested in the story about the ribs.

Frank hisself was almost thirty days old, which pretty much meant he was gonna keel over any minute now, anyways. Them ribs had been well worth it, a bucket list kinda thing.

“Ain’t nothin’ like bein’ a fly on a wall,” he said. “Never in my wildest dreams did I think they was gonna wheel in those ribs.”

And he pretty much keeled over as those last words came out…